After 26 years, see how we kept our marriage alive and see what we did to keep it alive: Genesis2:24
First, let us consider the person before marriage. That is a good place to start if you what a good marriage.
1# Don’t marry a fool. The fear of the lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fool despises wisdom and instruction.
(Proverbs 1:7) What is a fool? What is the definition? Unintelligent or thoughtless person: somebody who is regarded as lacking good sense or judgment somebody who looks or is made to appear ridiculous, or who behaves in a ridiculous way.
Because there is, one thing a fool does not have and that is no wisdom. Knowledge of everything but how to perform or accomplish and to carry it out in action they have no clue.
2# Don’t be sensible to marry a fool.
Stop being a simpleton believing everything he or she says. They tell you what you want to hear. After that they done lock you into marriage. Then you go thought so much to get out of it. Having a good sense of decision matter because your future condition depends on it. The bible tell us not be so simple mind.
Going alone with a man or women of this condition would only give you an unhappy state of mind. As you wait around hope that they would develop mentally. Then they never come around to being that man or women that you desire in a good marriage.How long, you simple ones, will you love simplicity? And the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge (proverbs 1:22)
3# Check out what you are getting in to. The inexperienced believe anything, but the sensible watch their steps (proverb 14:15)
(CSB-bible) We have to check out that person before saying I do, before taking one hand in marriage. First with out making sure that’s the right person for you. It is a total failure in marriage if you don't.
4# Don’t learn the hard way.
Learn that person before marriage take place. To go into marriage with bad conditions would only make you Learn the hard way. Then your lives in marriage suffer Problematic and hard decision. Using up a lot of energy. The marriage becomes uncontrollable violence and a hard marriage life. Now you feel unjustified threat by this violence of robbery to your marriage and you live a marriage life of resentment.Strike a mocker, and the inexperienced learn a lesson; rebuke the discerning, and gain knowledge.
(proverbs 19: 25)
How to know that you are getting your self in to danger with a fool.
1# A fool knows if he talks, he will reveal his true character. Then you will know more about him before you marry him. Even a fool is considered wise when he keeps silent, discerning, when he seals his lips. (CSB-bible)(Proverbs 17:28)
When him or her try to talk they try to impress you with they opinion about life issues as if they know it all and you cannot tell them nothing. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge attractive, but the mouth of fools blurts out foolishness. (Proverbs 15:2). (CSB-bible)
2# If you listen to a fool closely him and her talk a lot nonsense and not wisdom. Not everything that a fool says is always right. Something they say make no sense if you listen very well. It is all meaningless and pointless.Wisdom is the focus of the perceptive, but a fool’s eyes roam to the ends of The earth. (Proverbs 17:24) (CSB-bible)
3# Relationship with their family members need to be look into how they grow up in there home.
wise son brings joy to father, but a foolish one despise his mother. (Proverb 15:20) The reason for this is that if you don‘t know what happen in their family home. Then you will not know if it would happen to you in your marriage. See if that man or women took in a lot of violence in his Family home, watching his mother father fight. Then there a 60%, chance it will happen to you. Moreover, if they were not obedience for they mother or father then they are not going to be right with you. Maybe they had a mental problems, that their mother or father could had told you before Marriage. Therefore, you see if he or she despise there mother as the bible say then you know you going to have a hard time with that person.
4# How do he or she get along with people.
Let brotherly love continue. (Hebrew 13:1)Now this is not always true because people just hate people for no reason at all. Nevertheless, it is good to look into it because if the whole world has something to say about him or her then you will want to keep your eyes on this area. People like to talk on things they have seen. Although they not always right. Moreover, even if they add little more to the story does not make it not right. Nevertheless, check it out. Do some research?
5# Do he or she blame every one use for his or her faults.
(Genesis 41:9) Then the chief butler spoke to pharaoh saying
‘’I remember my faults this day. If that person cannot say, he or she remembers his own fault, but blame ever one use in the world about they own mistake they made. Then this person is not marriage material. Because if he or she cannot own up to they faults then that is going to make marriage hard because he or she always going to say that everything is your fault. Lets say for instant your husband was setting in a bar with a never women and you came in there and see it and start fighting that women and her bother came in and seen your fighting his sister. He then push you and your husband start fighting him and got his teeth knock out and almost were shot. Your get back home and he says to you this was your entire fault. When in reality it was his fault. He should have not been in there sitting with another woman. A fight start between your two and he start hitting you. So you see. What that can do to a marriage.
6# Do he or she get mad at people then tell every one off.
I believe that we should always tell people what is on our mind. But in a clam way. When some one does us wrong. Nevertheless, it is bad when that person cannot have his way in life with every one, to a point that he or she what’s to tell every one off. To have a nasty attitude and telling people off, throwing fits like a little baby is not right either. Man! Can you image how you marriage will be if you have a person with an attitude like that. Getting mad at ever little thing you say or do, to a point it make him or her mad.
It is like being on a rollercoaster that you cannot get off. PiercingMadness, a loud noise, a high-pitched cry, right from the mouth of you mate every day, what amusement park right in your our home. The Lord gives his people strength; the Lord blesses his people with peace. (proverb 29:11)
7# Are they quick to fight, if they do not like what that person is say to them.
You can tell a fool and wise person. A fool what to show that he or she is right or not right by fighting. However, a wise person what to walk away from it even if he is right. Fool what to show off his true colors. So quick to jump up in so one face. If you try to tell them, something about they selves and you could be right. They go right into putting on they war gear. What would it be like for you in marriage? Jumping at you for everything, you say to them that were right. When you only trying to tell them something for his or her own good. Nevertheless, you get beating for it. So if they are quick to fight. Then they are quick to fight you in marriage. You desire and do not have. You murder, covet, and cannot obtain. You fight and war. (James 4:2)
8#Do they like to start arguments.For you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and division among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men? (1Corinthans 3:3)The one thing that tears down marriage is arguments. Arguments eat away from marriage not add to. This is the lower level basement for a fool. They love it and desire to be there all day. In the basement of arguments. They may stop now and then but it is an on going thing in they marriage. They try to make a point out of no point. That is bad when you really do not know what they are arguer about. All they do is find something to disagree about and it do not make know sense. Especially when you do not know, what the argument is about or how it started. Wouldn't you want that person to give you a reason for something that he or she is auguring about? Something that will support it. Not with a fool, he does not need a reason. Keep auguring in marriage and it will only come to a divorcement. They would arguer they self right out the door if some one do not get hurt first. Then this is call for a greater freedom. That is Jail from the one that stated the hurt and pain.
Code Red: Break away from him or her before it is too late. Moreover, if you do, you would save you self the trouble. In addition, you would get rid of tension in your marriage. To be with that some one that would love you and not give heartaches. Will be the Best dedication you would ever make in your life.
You will go through in your marriage, if they are fools. Look at the 10 things a fool being to a marriage
1# He or she does not want you to corrected them.
2# He or she does not want to talk about nothing.
3# Out self-control.
4# Arguments after Arguments.
5# Like to fight you.
6# Cannot reason with him or her.
7# Tight with his or her money
8# Do not what to share.
9# Don’t want you to have no friend.
10# Get jealous
Don’t blame God. You chose that man or women with out asking God. Now that we said all that and got that out the way. That was the bad news. Let us get to the good news.
How does a marriage work?
Follow these stages out lines and you will not fail:
Stage 1# If you are having a bad day give you mate time to clear his or her head.
Stage 2# Know when your mate not feeling up to part it works better if you know each another like that.
Stages 3# If you see an argument starting up postpone it. Until you, both are in a better mood.
Stages 4# Always do things God way. Like read your bible to see how to handle your mate, God way is better, not your way.
Stage 5# Face your problems together because for real, you both in it together.
Stages 6# Always try to have good communication. I find it easy to talk it out, then to fight it out.
Stages 7# Always try not to be understood, but understand. It not about wining the argument or being right all the time. It makes things worse.
Stages 8# Never change the subject because that same problem you have now only show back up tomorrow.
Stage 9# Try to be honest. I know it hurt some time but you will get that problem out of the way so you can get a good night sleep. If not, you will worry about her or him finding out the truth tomorrow.
Stage 10# Do not stand behind a cover up smile. Tell each other how you feel. However, make sure it is the right time. (know your mate)
Stages 11#Never pretend you do not hear, it make things worse.
Stage 12# Never accuses your mate of the things you caused in the relationship. This make one very mad because they no it was not they fault. Therefore, there go your Sunday night boxing match.
Stages 13# Never keep saying there nothing wrong with me. When there is something wrong with you.
Stage 14# Never use excuse’s to justify your wrongs.
Stages 15# Never come to your mate with a bad attitude. Because your day did not go right. Remember he or she is there to help you and love you through it.
Stage 16# Never beat around the bush about what you need. Say what you want, because they no something is up.
Stages 17# Never raise your voice to each other.
Stage 18# Leave the pass in the pass.
Stage 19# No name calling because that hurt.
Stage 20# Don’t try to be the biggest in conversation. You know we always try to make a point and be heard.
Stage 21# Always try to hear each other out by listening before opening your mouth.
Stage 22# No matter what; always believe your marriage is going to improve. (Mark11:20-26)
Stage 23# Don’t expect too much from your marriage. Marriage will never be perfect because we know that people is not perfect.
Stage 24# Take your bible and learn what your roles are as a husband and wife (Ephesians, chapter 5& 6)
Stage 25# Express affection and appreciation for one another’
Now that we understand how to have a good time with our mate. keeping the doors close on bad marriage. Lets talk about Communication is very in important. It is the key to marriage. Every marriage that falls apart, break down first in Communication. Talk, listening, and understanding each other is Communication. Not just talking away and not understanding the other.
Let’ review some ways not to have a bad Communication. I Call it D-day
1#Don’t speak at the same time
2# Don’t have sarcasm moods.
3# Don’t rub it in when your mate apologizes too you.
4# Don’t suppress anger to each other.
6# Don’t refuse not to talk.
7# Don’t be mean and revengeful toward your mate
8# Don’t remind him or her of his pass mistake.
9# Don’t let your pride be the last words.
10# Don’t be thoughtless to your mate feeling.
11# Don’t act as if you do not love her or him.
12# Don’t say words that hurt, just to give a reason or explanation why something was done.
13# Don’t be a bad listener, practice good listening, try being able to tolerate without becoming annoyed or upset in your self.
14# Don’t be so hostile or nasty before you start talking.
15# Don’t try to be right all the time.
Let us go over the roles of the husband and wife. Let us talk about what the man should be doing to keep the fire lit and the apple of his eyes happy.
Husband:
1# Husband shows his love by being a leader in the home.
2# Husband must carry out his responsibility. (Ephesians 5:27)3#Husband is to help his wife to iron out her problem.
4#Husband must understand.(Peter 3:7)
5# Husband must not love her only when it is convenient for him. However, love her at all time.
6# Husband must Honor her, make her feel special.
(1 peter 3:7 and Song of Solomon 4, 5)
7# Husband Never be bitter with your wife. It gets hard sometime. However, try it anyway.
8# Husband must nourish his wife.
9# Husband must build up his wife not tear her down.
10# Husband are to never hit, slap, or beat her.
(Ephesians 5; 28, 29)
11# Husband must Cherish her at all time.(Ephesians 5:29)
12# Husband must express words of goodness to his wife.
(Proverbs 31:28)
13# Husband must satisfy his wife sexually. (1 Corinthian 7:3-5)
14# Husband Spend time with his wife.
15# Husband is to be strong and courageous.
(Song of solomon7:1-13)
16# Husband should provide for his family (1 timothy 5:8)
17# Husband must help his wife around the house.
(Cleaning, cooking and what ever is next)
18# Husband must be loyal to his wife.
19# The husband must protect his wife at all time.
20# Husband must not be jealous toward his wife.
Husband must always greet her with a smile, even if you do not feel like doing it.
21# Husband must show affection to his wife.
(1 Corinthians 7:3)
Wife
1#Wife must be strong enough to up hold her husband in his weakest time.
2# Wife must give her husband hope for success. (Not I told you so) 3# Wife must be loyal to her husband. (1Corinthians 13:7)4#Wife must look for best in her Husband.
5# Wife must defend her husband at all time.
6# Wife must be patient with her husband.
7# Wife must not be jealous toward her husband.
8# Wife desire shall be to her husband. (Genesis 3:16)
9# wife must be submissive. (Ephesians5:24)
10# Wife must let the husband be head over all.
(1Corinthians11:3, 8, 9)
11# Wife must reverence her Husband. (Ephesians 5:33)
12# Wife must not talk over her husband (1Timothy 2:11, 12)
13# Wife must submit to her husband. (Colossians 3:18)
14# Wife must not usurp authority over her husband.
(1 Timothy 2:11)
15# Wife must have a forgiving heart. As the husband must do the same.
16#Wife must teach there children to love there husband to be a keeper at home, good, obedient to they own husband. (Titus 2:4, 5)17# Wife always subjection to your husband. (1Peter 3:1)
18# Wife must always greet him with a smile, even if you do not feel like doing it.
Now let us talk about the place of showing affection.
Sexual love:
Husband: After orgasm, there a glow about a woman, when you are finish having sex, kiss her little before going to sleep.
Husband and Wife: Take your time with each other. Try to feel each other and not just the sex its self.
Husband and Wife: Try different sexual position. See what make each other click.
Husband and Wife: Do not be Repetitious and uninteresting. Try new things with each other.
Husband and Wife: Experiment and discover new things with each other. Maybe there is something about your that you have not discovered about each other.
Husband: Kiss her on her neck before Sexual intercourse. Kissing different parts of your wife body get her stimulated. Females love mouth kissing then males do. (Song of Solomon 1:2)be active as your husband.
Husband: be as active as your wife is.
Husband and Wife: Penis and clitoris stroking cause Stimulation.
Husband and Wife: Embracing one another in bed fondly, eagerly willingly.
Husband and Wife: Massaging each other before lovemaking.
(Neck, back legs, toes etc.)
Husband and wife: You must be able to learn how you can find your partner’s g-spot and get more fun, passion and pleasure from your lovemaking.
Wife: Sight of the women turn husband on. So dress up in to something sexy. It sensually stimulates the husbands always. (Esther 5:1-3) Stimulation of the breasts when touch or stroke affectionately in a soothing and pleasant way makes her more alert and effective to you. (Proverbs 5:19)
Back up: (Read Song of Solomon)
How to Find and Stimulate The G-Spot - G-Spot Stimulation and G-Spot Location | eHow.com
Wife Assignment:
1# Take a bath with your Husband.
2# Write him sexy love letters.
3# Buy a set of satin sheets for the bed.
5# Give him a massage all over.
5# Read Song of Solomon to him.
6# Sit close to him at a movie, front room, in the car, at dinner table.
7# If he take a bath or shower ask him if you can scrub his back for him.
8# Undress him for bed and tell him sexy things if he let you.
9# Serve him breakfast in bed.
10# Come together in prayer.
Husband Assignment:
1# Plan a weekend out.
2# Say that you love her at least once a day.
3# Give her body a massage using lotion.
4# Buy her a sexy nightgown and tell her to model for you.
5# Send her some flowers.
6# Serve her breakfast in bed.
7# Undress her for bed and as you undressing her kiss her shoulders, back and what ever is next.
8# Massage her and find her sensitive part.
9# Shampoo her hair.
10# Come together in prayer.
